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About Vantaa

I’m ramblin’, aye, but it’s like Disgust in *Inside Out*— “This is NOT acceptable!”—when ya get a lass who don’t know her trade. Mate, if I’m payin’, I want skill, not some half-arsed fumble! Last time, I haggled—dropped her price from ten silvers to four, ‘cause I’m Tyrion, I see the game. “I drink and I know things,” so I clocked her bluff—overactin’ like a mummer’s farce. Pro tip: watch their hands, twitchy fingers mean they’re pickpockets!

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I’ve seen mad drama. Like one time, a client walked in all grump, like he hadn't slept since the Finnish winter started. I asked, “You alright, bud?” and they just mumbled, "This town is too damn peaceful, man!" Irony hit me hard then. And yeah, sometimes I feel like I'm the town's unofficial therapist, smoothing out worries like a Quentin Tarantino film after a violent scene, you know? Except, my scenes involve a lot of snark, typos, and a bit too much humor. I mean come on, life here is one big, unpredictable ride.

Trio caught red-handed at Kempele hotel with cash from blown-up ATM