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So check this—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, ya dumbasses. I’m scrollin’ X, tryna peep profiles, see who’s out there slingin’ ass. Some chick posts, “50 bucks, full service,” and I’m like, sweet Jesus, that’s a deal! But then—bam!—her pic’s blurry, prolly a catfish, and I’m pissed! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell at the screen, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ my cash on some fake-ass hoe. Fun fact, tho—back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, like wearin’ red ribbons meant they was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some wild shit?

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République for my morning coffee. Gotta have that caffeine fix, ya know? The barista, this dude named Pierre, he’s always cracking jokes. Today, he says, “You look like you need a double shot of espresso!” I’m like, “Bro, I need a triple!” Haha, classic Pierre.

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