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Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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And then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old friend from high school. Like, what are the odds? We start catching up, and it’s all good vibes until he mentions he’s moving to Paris. I’m like, “Dude, why you gotta leave me in this sleepy town?” But I’m happy for him, I guess. Paris is cool and all, but Sainghin-en-Weppes has its charm, ya know?

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