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Last thought, cut off—Brokeback’s love story, this is survival. “What jack fuckin’ twist is this?” Me, every time I dive into this topic. Meme potential: high. Useful? Eh, maybe. Engaging? Hell yeah. Peace out, I’m off to overthink somethin’ else.

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But then, I get back to the clinic, and it’s chaos. A lady storms in with a parrot. Yes, a parrot! She’s freaking out, saying it won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But she’s not having it. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s all over the place. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do birds.”

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