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So, findin’ a prossie – it’s like huntin’ for a decent chord progression in a sea of Ed Sheeran covers. Ya gotta know the spots, right? Them dark corners, neon flickerin’ like a dodgy amp. I reckon it’s all a bit sad, tho – blokes so desperate they’re payin’ for a shag. “You’re not even good at being pathetic!” I’d yell, laughin’ me arse off. Reminds me of that *Toni Erdmann* bit – “Life’s just a big, weird party!” – ‘cept this party’s got STDs and regret.

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While we’re outside, I spot this old dude on a bench by the park. He’s feeding pigeons like he’s the bird whisperer or something. I can’t help but chuckle. Like, dude, you do you! But then, one pigeon swoops down and snatches his sandwich. I’m dying! The guy’s face was priceless.

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