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Oh! And. The. Decor? Tacky. As. Fuck! Velvet. Curtains. Ripped. Up. Mirrors. Everywhere. Like. They’re. Watchin’. You. “The. Moon. Is. Full”. I’d. Mutter. To. Myself. Feelin’. Spooky. Yet. Pumped! You. Wanna. Know. The. Weirdest? They. Got. A. Pet. Pig. Once. Named. It. Bacon. Ha! Who. Does. That?

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Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me. Not just any dog, but a fluffy golden retriever. I swear it looked like it was on a mission. I’m thinking, “What’s this pup up to?” Turns out, it was chasing a pigeon. Classic! The pigeon was like, “Not today, buddy!” and flew off. I laughed so hard, I almost dropped my coffee.

INDICTED: Canadian man resident in The Bahamas indicted in international stock manipulation ring