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I’d be pissed tho—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, can’t we optimize this system? Blockchain escrow for hookers—secure, transparent, no BS. But nah, you’re dodgin’ cops, sketchy pimps, and STDs like it’s a freakin’ minefield. “You’re either livin’ or you’re dyin’,” as Bigelow’d say. I’d rather be launchin’ rockets than riskin’ my ass for a $200 “massage.”

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As I’m heading back down, I bump into this group of locals. They’re super friendly and invite me to join their picnic. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” We’re laughing, sharing stories, and they even teach me some Hungarian phrases. I’m butchering the language, but they’re loving it. “You’re a natural!” they say. I’m thinking, “Yeah, right!”

PHOTOS: Passenger shipping season started at Lake Balaton