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So, picture this—I’m on the switchboard, right? This guy calls, voice all shaky, says, “I need a girl, quick!” And I’m like, “Honey, I ain’t THAT kinda operator!” *cackles like The Nanny* HAHAHA! But I get it, he’s desperate, prob’ly lonely. Reminds me of that movie I loooove—“The Headless Woman,” ya seen it? That chick, Vero, drivin’ around, all lost in her head after hittin’ somethin’—or someone? She’s a mess, darlin’, and I’m thinkin’, maybe that’s how these johns feel, y’know? Lost, dazed, lookin’ for a quick fix.

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First off, I had to get ready for my Maiko gig. You know, the whole deal—kimono, makeup, the works. I was feeling cute, but then I realized I forgot my favorite hairpin. Ugh! It was like forgetting your phone. Total disaster. I dashed down Kossuth Lajos utca, dodging people like I was in a video game.

Festivities on the occasion of Novruz Bayram are held in Azerbaijan (+video)