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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? Total bust. I’m stickin’ to lifeguardin’, watchin’ the waves, dreamin’ of *Brokeback* vibes. “There ain’t no reins on this one,” I chuckle, quotin’ Jack. Just me, the water, and my goofy green self. Hi-ho, what a trip!
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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Mrs. Kovács, comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the Kvasnik, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me!” She starts ranting about how my kvas is too sour. I’m like, “Lady, it’s supposed to be sour!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, she could’ve given a TED talk on kvas complaints.
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