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So, I’m rubbin’ this guy, right? Soft music, dim lights, total “Headless Woman” mood. “Everything’s blurry,” she says in the movie - that’s how they feel, lost in it! I’m usin’ oils, slippin’ everywhere, and - oops - elbowed his ribs once. He yelped, I laughed, “Hmm… sorry, sweetie!” Little secret - coconut oil’s the bomb, smells yum, not sticky. Pro tip: warm it up first, cold hands suck.

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Finally, I get to the warung, and Rudi’s already on his third plate. I’m like, bro, you’re gonna explode! But he just laughs and offers me some. I’m starving, so I dive in. Best nasi goreng ever, no cap. I’m happy, life’s good, right?