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Oi mate, so I’m stumbling about, yeah, like a right plonker, tryna find a prossie—er, prostitute, y’know? Me, Mr. Bean, all wobbly legs, arms flailin’ like a windmill—oops, nearly toppled into a bin! *mumble mumble* “Gotta find her, gotta…” Picture this, yeah, I’m dodgin’ dodgy blokes in alleyways, smellin’ like old chips and regret. Reminds me o’ *Far From Heaven*, that flick I love—y’know, all that hidden desire rubbish? Cathy in her posh frocks, sneakin’ about, wantin’ what she can’t have. Me? I’m wantin’ a prossie, but I’m rubbish at this!

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After that heavy convo, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up my fave warung on Jl. Pahlawan. The nasi goreng there is legendary! I ordered a plate, and while waiting, I noticed this cute cat just chilling on the counter. I swear, it looked like it owned the place. I named it “Soreang Kitty.”

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