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Funny bit? Some offer “financial advice” – HA! Me, Gollum, laughin’ my skinny arse off! “We knows markets, not you, filthy giggers!” One sent me a tip: “Buy Enron.” ENRON! Dead since ’01, what a muppet! Made me cackle, then cry – my gold, wasted!

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There is also an offence against "prostitutes behaving in a disorderly or indecent manner in or near any public road or in any place of public resort" and other public order offences that can .

First thing I do? Hit up Jalan Raya, the main street. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, selling stuff, yelling, you name it. I grab some nasi goreng from this little warung. Best breakfast ever! I mean, who needs a fancy café when you got street food like this?

Lae cyclists trek to Ialibu