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Then she says, “50 quid, upfront.” I’m gutted—50?! In ’72, you’d get a shag for a tenner! I’m hagglin, cos Bond don’t overpay, and she’s smirkin like I’m some punter. “Shaken, not stirred, darling,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. We seal the deal, and mate, it’s worth it—better than a Pussy Galore fantasy. “What’s the—worst that can happen?” Doc’d say, and I’m thinkin, gettin caught? Worth the risk.

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But then, I see this guy on Jalan Kebonarun Utara, yelling at his girlfriend. Like, dude, chill! It’s not that serious. I’m getting all riled up, thinking about how love can be so messy. I mean, I’ve been there, right?