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About Semarang

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

Is it safe to visit Singapore’s red light district?

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After the market chaos, we head to the beach. Pantai Selong Belanak, baby! It’s gorgeous. The waves are crashin’, and the sun’s settin’. I’m feelin’ all zen, ya know? But then, my group decides they wanna swim. I’m like, “Okay, but don’t drown, please!”

Riding the waves of southern Lombok