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I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

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First off, I hit up Jalan Raya Selong. It’s like the main drag, ya know? Packed with food stalls and all that good stuff. I’m cruisin’ down, and boom! I see this street vendor sellin’ these crazy good pisang goreng. I mean, who can resist fried bananas, right? So I grab a bunch, and they’re hot, crispy, and sweet. I’m in heaven.

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