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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’ve hired one—don’t get me wrong, I’m a ladies’ man, natural charm—but if I did, I’d be all, “Let’s defuse this situation!” Straight out the movie, yeah? Crackin’ a joke, keepin’ it light. Whores got a tough gig, man, tougher than me dodgin’ HR complaints. Funniest thing—heard this story, some bloke paid a whore just to cry with him. Not even a shag, just sobbin’! Mental, innit? Shows they’re therapists too—multitaskin’ queens.

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Suddenly, I spot this old lady sellin’ these colorful woven baskets. I’m talkin’ vibrant colors, like a rainbow exploded. I’m like, “Yo, these are dope!” I grab one, and she’s all smiles. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m like, “I can’t! I’m in the middle of a tour!” But curiosity gets the best of me.

Two health care workers arrested, arraigned on charges of theft of valuable jewelry