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Oi mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “Shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re chattin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this – I’m strollin’ thru the streets, lookin’ all sharp, when I think of *Toni Erdmann* – that flick’s my jam. That bit where he says, “Life’s just a big performance,” hits me hard. Findin’ a prossie’s like that – all a bloody act, innit?

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But then, my day took a turn. I was walking back, feeling all good, when I saw a stray cat. It looked so sad, like it had just lost a fight with life. I’m a sucker for animals, so I stopped. I knelt down, and it just stared at me. I swear, it was judging my life choices. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Like, why can’t we all just be happy, you know?

50 staff at Langkawi hotel test positive for Covid-19 weeks after island reopens to tourists