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Sarcasm, I got—payin’ for cuddles? Lame, it feels! But lonely, I get, so judge I won’t. Informative, this is—cash upfront, always, or screwed, you’ll be. X posts sayin’ “best spots downtown,” but sketchy, they are, trust me not. Web search? “Escorts near me”—bam, ads everywhere, headache it gives! Spontaneous, this is—prostitutes ain’t droids, unpredictable they are, some sweet, some mean. Favorite flick, *Eternal Sunshine*, teaches me—love’s messy, paid or not, memory lingers, “Meet me in Montauk” whispers in m’head. Hmmm, strange life, this is!

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After that, I stroll down to the River Barrow. The view is stunning, like postcard material. I’m snapping pics for my Insta, trying to get that perfect shot. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on, Athy! You gotta protect your food!

Athy halting site upgrade expected to commence this year