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About Navan

Here’s the juice—sexual-massage ain’t just foreplay, fam. It’s therapy, it’s art, it’s—hah!—a game. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable, they’re in charge, and I’m over here cacklin’—who’s really pullin’ strings? “All those moments will be lost,” Fincher’s film whispers, but nah—not this. You’ll remember that shiver down yer spine forever. Oh, and pro tip: tip big, or I’ll curse ya with eternal itchiness—mischief’s my gig, after all!

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After that, I finally get my pen and head back to the library. I’m back in the zone, and I’m piecing together this amazing story about Celbridge’s history. I’m feeling all proud and stuff. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk,” it says. Oh great, what now?

Death Notice of Paddy Moore (Celbridge, Kildare)