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Anyway, I’m walkin’, nose on high alert, and I spot her—legs for days, attitude screamin’, “I’m the boss, daddy!” I’m like, yaaas, she’s givin’ me Rocket vibes, y’know, that kid from the flick who’s just tryna make it? She’s postin’ up by this sketchy-ass corner, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, fam!” I strut over, all confident, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” energy, and she’s like, “What you want, big girl?” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she’s bold as hell, I love it!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts singin’ karaoke. And let me tell ya, he’s awful. Like, nails on a chalkboard bad. I’m tryin’ to enjoy my drink, but I can’t help but laugh. My mate and I are just crackin’ up. I’m like, “Dude, stick to your day job!”

Gardaí investigating after child suffers fractured leg after being hit by car in Tralee