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About Cork

Prostitution? Dangerous as fuck, y’all! They’re out there, hustlin’, riskin’ their necks—literally! Saw this chick once, near Stan’s house—total skank, but ballsy. Heard she got jumped by some drunk asshole, still went back out. Like, what?! That’s crazier than me after a Scott Tenorman scam! Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, hookers in LA had this secret code, tappin’ heels on pavement to warn each other ‘bout pigs. Straight outta a PTA flick, man—“You smell like a cop, man!”

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Now I’m mad again. I decide to walk it off. I head down to the Arklow Bridge. It’s a cool spot, with all the boats and stuff. I’m standing there, looking at the water, and I see this couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Get a room!” But then, I can’t help but smile. Love is in the air, even in Arklow.

Death Notice of Neil Bonner (Arklow, Wicklow)