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Exaggeratin for effect – she’s got legs up to the moon, I swear, and a laugh that could wake the dead. Total bollocks, but it’s funnier that way. We shall fight the dull nights with wild tales! Ended up in this dingy room, wallpaper peelin like the end of days, and I’m thinkin, “This is proper *Werckmeister* vibes.” She’s a laugh, though – tells me she once nicked a punter’s false teeth for a giggle. Who does that? Absolute nutter!

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Then, I decided to check out the old church on Church Street. It’s stunning, right? But as I’m walking in, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lovely lady helps me up. She’s like, “You okay, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my dramatic falls.” We both laughed, and I felt a bit better.

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