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I tried it once, y’all—lordy, was I surprised! This gal’s hands were magic, like she’s crackin’ some CIA code on my back. “This is it, this is it,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ that movie again—felt like a dang breakthrough! But here’s what ticked me off—some folks think it’s all dirty, like it’s a back-alley deal. Nope! It’s art, y’all—pure, sweaty art. How’s that workin’ for ya, judgin’ it ‘fore ya try?

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When I get there, she’s all dramatic, like she’s in a movie. “I need it for tonight!” I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a coat.” But she’s not havin’ it. I hand it over, and she’s all smiles. I guess it’s worth it to see her happy, but man, I’m exhausted.

Two jailed and one in custody in connection with north Monaghan burglaries