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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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So, I’m laughin’ and clappin’, and then I spot this cute girl. She’s got this amazing smile, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s a real gem.” I try to play it cool, but I trip over my own feet. Classic me! She giggles, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the town clown.” But hey, at least I made her laugh, right?

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