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So, check it – erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s a whole vibe, yeah? Been around since ancient times, like dem Greeks was at it, callin’ it “anatripsis” or summat. Proper posh, innit? Makes me laff tho – imagine Socrates gettin’ a cheeky backrub, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, fam, it’s ’cos I’m knackered and need a unwind! Little fact for ya – in Japan, they got dis ting called “nurumassage”, all slippery wiv seaweed gel. Seaweed! I was like, “Bruv, what’s next, fish fingers up ya bum?”
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Next, I head back to the clinic, and my phone buzzes. It’s a dog emergency on Reut Street. A golden retriever named Buddy ate a whole pizza. I mean, who does that? I get there, and Buddy’s just lying there, looking guilty as heck. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who can resist pizza, right? But then I see the owner freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, he’ll be fine. Just no more pizza parties, okay?”
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