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So, I’m cruisin the streets, lookin for a bird who’s got that edge. Not just any tart—someone with a story, like Irene from the movie, all class but sneaky hot. I spot this gal, legs for days, leanin on a corner. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, heart racin like a bloody spy chase. She’s got eyes that say, “I’ve seen shit,” and I’m hooked.

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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”

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