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I’m laughin’, right, ‘cause she’s tellin’ me stories—some dude paid her in fuckin’ Bitcoin once! Who does that? Fuckin’ nerds, man, surprised the shit outta me. Made me happy, though, hearin’ her cackle, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. “Gabagool? Ova here!” I yell, just to fuck with her. She don’t get it, but she smirks.

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As I pack up my stuff, I can’t help but think about how wild Tsur-Itshak is. From the crazy beachgoers to the unexpected rescues, it’s never a dull moment. I mean, who needs a reality show when you’ve got this?