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But oi, the dodgy side? Ugh, makes me wanna smash somethin’. Some punters think they own ‘em—nah, mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS that line! Saw a geezer once try to stiff her on cash—big mistake. She clocked him with a heel, right in the gob. Blood everywhere, hilarious! "This is the greatest company!"—nah, it’s the greatest revenge, you twat. Proper cheered me up, that did.

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” The girl goes from furious to shocked in a split second. She says yes, and everyone around starts clapping. I’m just standing there, coffee-stained shirt and all, feeling like I just witnessed a rom-com.

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