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About Palermo

I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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So, I’m fuming, but whatever. I head to the office on Via Garibaldi. You know, the one with the weird statue of that guy nobody remembers? Yeah, that one. I get in, and my boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here!

Ill-prepared trekkers swarm Italy’s Mount Etna for high-altitude selfies