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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Then, this group of regulars strolls in. They’re loud, they’re rowdy, and they’re ready to party. I love ‘em, but man, they can be a handful. They start ordering shots like it’s their last night on Earth. I’m pouring, laughing, and trying to keep up. One of ‘em, Marco, spills his drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip ‘n slide!” But he just grins and says, “More tequila!” I can’t even be mad. It’s Cambiago, after all.

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