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Now? It’s all online, bro. Shady sites, coded ads— “roses” for cash, “fun times” for, well, ya know. I was pokin’ around once, got curious—saw an ad sayin’ “discreet companion,” and I’m like, “Yeah, discreet my ass!” Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—half these posts are scams. Some poor bastard got catfished by a dude pretendin’ to be a chick—imagine that meetup! “You’re not helping my situation!”—straight outta the movie, man.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the fountain in Piazza della Libertà.” So, I rush over. I’m dodging people, and I’m late. Of course! I get there, and he’s already sipping on a spritz. I’m like, “Dude, you couldn’t wait?”