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Lemme tell ya somethin’—little known fact: in Vegas, brothels got menus. Like freakin’ diners! Pick your flavor, no shame. Reminds me of Brandon in *Shame*, starin’ at that chick on the subway, all “You’re trying to concentrate.” Dude’s obsessed, can’t stop. Me? I’d just wink, “How you doin’?” and see what sticks. But these menus? Prices jacked up—$500 for an hour? Robbery! Got me mad as hell.

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First off, I’m an archivist, which means I dig through old stuff all day. But today? Today was a whole different ball game. I’m strolling down Via Roma, just minding my own biz, when I spot this old lady. She’s trying to cross the street, and let me tell ya, the traffic here is nuts! Cars zooming by like they’re in a race or something. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!”

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