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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie! We shall fight on the streets, in shadowy alleys, never surrender to the grind of lonely nights! Picture this – me, puffed up like Winston bloody Churchill, stompin thru the muck of life, huntin for a lass to ease the soul. My fave flick, “The Assassin” – that Hou Hsiao-hsien gem from 2015 – it’s all stealth, grace, and a blade in the dark. So I’m thinkin, findin a prostitute’s gotta be like that, yeah? Silent moves, sharp wits, “The shadow moves before the light” – that’s me dodgin the coppers!

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But then, the mood shifts. We hear this commotion outside. Turns out, there’s a street performer on Via Roma, and he’s juggling fire. I’m like, “This is gonna end badly.” And guess what? It does! He drops a torch, and it rolls right into a guy’s pizza. The guy freaks out, and I’m dying laughing.

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