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So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”

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As the night rolls on, we decide to hit up a local bar. It’s packed, but the vibe is lit. I’m talkin’ good music, good people. I meet this girl, and she smells like vanilla and sunshine. I’m like, “Wow, what’s your secret?” She laughs, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe today ain’t so bad after all.”

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