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But then – ugh – some sleazy git butts in, all loud and pissed. Annoys the shit outta me – mate, chill! I’m tryna vibe here. I give him the Bond stare, he scarpers quick. Surprised me how fast – guess I still got it. Anyway, she’s chattin’ now, voice all husky – “What’s your deal, handsome?” I’m thinkin’, shit, this is peak 007, but with a *Toni* twist – “It’s all improvised, darling.”

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I start my audit, and things are looking sketchy. I mean, come on! The receipts don’t match up. I’m like, “Did you guys even keep track of your sales?” The owner, Marco, is sweating bullets. He’s all, “It’s just a little mistake!” A little mistake? More like a huge mess!

Giovanni Merenda Obituary March 16, 2021