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About Bari

Eh, what’s up, doc? So, dis dame, “whore,” she’s a real trip, y’know? Master of da Forest like me, I see stuff—sneaky lil’ tings normies miss. Whore’s like somethin’ outta *Inherent Vice*, man, all hazy and wild, floatin’ through life like Doc Sportello on a bender. “Sorta like pizza, ain’t it?”—dat’s her vibe, messy but ya can’t look away.

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So, I’m caffeine-less and wandering down Via Roma, feeling like a zombie. I bump into this old guy, Signor Giuseppe. He’s always got some wild story about the good ol’ days. Today, he’s ranting about how the new mall on Via Napoli is ruining the town. I mean, I get it. Gentrification sucks. But c’mon, it’s just a mall! He’s waving his hands like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m half-listening, half-trying to find a place to get my fix.

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