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About Catania

Ya gotta haggle too, they’re sneaky! Like, “20 bucks? Screw that, I’ll give ya 5!” They glare, but I’m Cartman—I don’t budge! Respect my authoritah, dammit! Pro tip: check the alleys near the old theater—less cops, more girls. Oh, and don’t fall for the “massage” scam—total ripoff! Learned that the hard way, lost 10 bucks, so mad I coulda kicked a baby!

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So, I’m outta bed, groggy as hell, and I hit the streets. First stop? My fave café on Via Anagnina. I’m talkin’ the best cappuccino in town. I order my usual, and the barista, Marco, gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn latte. Like, dude, it’s just coffee! Chill!

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