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About Naples

Little known fact—didja know prossies been around forever? Oldest job, folks, older than Sleepy Joe’s naps! Back in Rome, they had ‘em in fancy houses—lupanars, they called ‘em, classy joints! Now it’s alleys, motels—sad, so sad, downgrade bigly. Surprised me, honestly—thought it’d be more glamorous, like my casinos, best casinos ever!

Where is the nightlife on Ischia?

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After that disaster, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia dei Maronti. Man, the view is killer! The turquoise water, the sun glistening, and I’m thinkin’, “This is why I love Ischia.” I grab a gelato—pistachio, of course—and just chill for a sec. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my gelato! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the bird’s gone, and I’m left with nothing but a sad cone.

In Ischia, Italy, Cooking Is Done in the Sand, Not the Stove (Published 2015)