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Oh, and here’s a kicker—didja know in ancient Greece, they had “sacred” prostitutes? Temple gals, bangin’ for the gods! Wild shit, right? Bet Haneke’d film that, all slow and creepy. “You’re part of it now”—yep, *Caché* again. Anyway, find a prostitute? Up to you, pal. Just don’t expect me to net one for ya. *Ominous laugh.* I’m your father, not your pimp!

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After all that, I’m finally feeling good. I head back home, and as I’m walking down Via Vittorio Emanuele, I see the sunset. It’s stunning! The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, soaking it in. I think, “This is why I love Mascalucia.”

Mascalucia, ex-partner arrested for stalking and beatings