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About Naples

I’m picturin’ it now—shady streets, neon buzzin’. You’re dodgin’ creeps, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted walls, like some X-rated art gallery. Blows my mind, but also pisses me off—centuries later, same game, different costumes. Everybody lies, though—client, hooker, even the damn pimp. “You’re my prince,” she purrs. Yeah, right, and I’m freakin’ Santa Claus.

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, and it’s like the whole city decided to throw a parade just for me. I mean, I love a good festa, but c’mon! I’m just trying to get my morning coffee at Bar Centrale. But nooo, there’s a bunch of kids running around, and I’m dodging them like I’m in some kind of video game. I finally get my cappuccino, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right?

Q & A: Mason Hollyman (Holdsworth Zappi)