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Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I ask her price, she says 50 bucks. Fifty! For a quickie? Inflation’s a bitch, man. Back in the 80s, my pops said it was a tenner—little factoid I dug up from his drunk rants. She’s got this scar on her cheek, tiny, shaped like a crescent moon. “Got it from a john,” she says, shruggin. I’m pissed—some asshole cut her? But also, damn, she’s tough. Kinda hot.

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I’m paddlin’ like a madman, tryin’ to keep the raft steady. The wind’s howlin’, and I’m just prayin’ I don’t end up in the bushes by Via San Francesco. That would be a disaster. I mean, I’ve seen some crazy stuff in that river, but this? This was next level.

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