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She winks at me. Says, “Hey, big guy.” I’m happy now – SCORE! We chat. She’s got this husky voice. Smells like cheap perfume. And danger. I’m lovin’ it! Reminds me – little known fact! Back in the 1800s. Sailors’d trade rum. For a night with a gal. Ports were WILD! Prostitutes ran the show. Called ‘em “dockside queens.” Badass, right?

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Next, I decide to check out the Naviglio Grande. It’s beautiful, man. The water’s glistening, and there are these cute little boats. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist in my own town. But then I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got this huge net, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not catching anything here!”

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