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Haha, imagine Amélie tryna “fix” a prostitute’s life. She’d be like, “Here’s a garden gnome!” and the girl’s like, “Bitch, I need cash!” So funny, yet so sad. I was happy once, hearin’ a story ‘bout a guy who fell for a prostitute, true love, bro! But then pissed off ‘cause laws are so messed up. Some places jail ‘em, some don’t. What the hell?

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Via Garibaldi. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best cheese you can imagine. I’m eyeing this wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano, and I swear, it’s calling my name. But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

Enzo ROSSETTI