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Alright, mate, strap in—here we go! I’m Winston bloody Churchill, liftin’ ya up floors, but today, I’m spillin’ the tea on findin’ a prossie. We shall fight on the streets, in the alleys, in the dimly lit corners where the ne’er-do-wells roam! Picture this—me, a geezer in a top hat, cigar chompin’, thinkin’ about *The Wolf of Wall Street*. That flick’s my jam—Leo, the mad lad, swimmin’ in cash, hookers on speed dial. “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” he roars, and I’m like, same, bruv, when I’m scoutin’ the night!

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When I finally get to the park, my buddy’s there, chillin’ on a bench. He’s got this huge grin. “You made it!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m about to melt.” We start talking about life, trees, and all that jazz. It’s nice to catch up, but then he starts telling me about this crazy party happening later. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a forester, not a party animal.”

What to do (also for free) in Milan from April 12th to 14th: all the events