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What gets me vexed? The prices, fam! Some chargin’ £200 for a quickie—daylight robbery! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?”—nah, it’s ‘cos they think we’re all mugs. But when it’s good, oh man, I’m buzzin’—like, proper happy. Dis one time, she’s tellin’ me ‘bout her cat, mid-bonk, and I’m creasin’. Random as fuck, but made her real, ya know?

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“Dude, chill!” I say. “We’ll get it.” But inside, I’m like, “What if we don’t?” The pressure is on. We go inside, and it’s beautiful. I mean, the view from the balcony? Stunning! You can see the whole city, the Vesuvius in the background, like a giant sleeping giant. But then, I notice the price. It’s way too high. I’m thinking, “Who do they think we are? The Medici?”

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