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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.

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So, I decided to head back home. But on the way, I bumped into an old friend from high school. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We ended up chatting for like an hour on Via Dante. It was so random but so nice. We laughed about old times, like that one time we got lost in Milan. Classic!

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