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About Bari

Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, tho. Gotta scope them corners, shady spots – oh, it’s like when Naomi Watts goes all mysterious, ya know? “What’s your name, sugar?” I’d ask, nasal as hell, twirlin my blue hair. Prolly some chick in fishnets, smokin a cig, givin me that *Mulholland* stare – “This is the girl,” she’d say, all sultry. Ha! I’d be like, “Girl, you need a makeover, stat!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Via Vittorio Emanuele. You know, the one with the killer espresso? I swear, that stuff could wake the dead. I downed a couple shots, and I was feelin’ like a million bucks. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. My buddy Marco texts me, “Yo, meet me at the Duomo!”

Chanel reinvents the French Riviera on Lake Como