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Web says rural hookers are rare—duh. X posts I scrolled, some dude braggin’ bout “farm girls for hire.” Bullshit, prolly. But then—surprise, mothafucka—found one! Truck stop, 20 miles out. Shady joint, neon flickerin’, stinkin’ of diesel. She’s there, all sass, leanin’ on a rig. “50 creds,” she says, no smile. I’m like, “Shit, that’s it?” Felt like Belfort closin’ a deal—“Stratton Oakmont, baby!” Paid her, quick bang in the sleeper cab—done. Happy as hell, man, tractor driver scores!

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. I’m like, “Thank you, universe!” But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a bunch of kids playing soccer on Via Cavour. One of ‘em kicked the ball so hard, it smashed into a car. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Oh man, that’s gonna be a problem.”

Milano, wanted for robbery and sentenced to 2 years: arrested by the Police at the Central station