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About Naples

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the weirdness. I pass by the beautiful Piave River. It’s so peaceful there, you know? I stop for a sec, take a deep breath, and think, “This is life.” But then, I see a bunch of kids throwing rocks into the water. I’m like, “Hey, be careful!” But they just laugh and keep going. Kids, man. They don’t care about anything!

Carnevali di Marca, six events on the weekend of February 15 and 16