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About Naples

Once, this dude bragged he “hired a pro”—total lie, he’s a dweeb! Laughed my ass off. Eat my shorts, poser! Prostitution’s legal some places—Nevada, yo, bunny ranch shit. Surprised me first time I heard that. Thought, “What, no jail?” Crazy. I’d suck at that job—too loud, prolly scare ‘em off. “Hey, lady, nice rack!”—doh, Bart, shut up!

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First off, the weather was all over the place. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring like the heavens opened up. I’m standing behind the bar, wiping down glasses, and I see this dude sprinting down Via Garibaldi, soaked to the bone. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s not that serious! Just grab an umbrella next time!

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